Its difficult when your a single mom for the holidays I've realized. But now with me being a teen single mom on top of that it is even more difficult.
A single mom at my church and she is having the same problem that I am having but hers is with a different twist. Her ex-husband's father is dying (he just passed actually, but at the time he was in hospice) And she was traveling down to TN to see her family to be with them on Christmas with her son, but she knew that on the other side of the state, they would want to see her son as well. And if he passed (which he did) they would want their grandson at the funeral. But that would mean not spending the holidays with her son, but obviously for an important reason. However, her family would also not be able to see her and her son because would have to stay up here and be at the funeral. Sharing the son, that's difficult.
Now I am finding that I have the same problem. I have Kent this christmas, His first Christmas (SO LUCKY!!! and BLESSED!!) But the day after christmas I can't be with my baby boy to play with all his toys because he will be at his daddy's all day for the first time. I'm going to miss him so much, all these empty toys and no baby to play with them for a whole day.
The holidays you want to spend with your family, and Kent is my family. I know he is also his dad's but this is just so hard!!!! I wish we were married and this problem never arose. I mean His dad did come over to see him today along with his grandparents on his dads side, but I know they want to see him more. And they should be able to. But I am so attached to him...watching him go is going to be so hard...especially at Christmas.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
To do or not To do: A Single Mom's struggle
Everyone knows a good education is needed to be a success. However, leaving your child when he/she is the only thing you have is the hardest thing you can do. My son is only 4 months old and yet I am so attached to him the thought of leaving him for school AND work sickens me. Every time I think of it tears soon come afterwards. I don't know what I am supposed to do. I know I need a good job but at the same time I know if I went to school I would NEVER concentrate on my son!
I want to pursue a Interpreting degree sometime in my life. However, right now I can't imagine doing it. I'm lazy to life and spontaneous and on the ball for all mommy activities/responsibilities. I do NOT have a heart for college. In fact, it sickens me thinking about going to college because I don't have a "career" mindset. I am not a career woman. I am a mom. Honestly, My parents would be wasting thier money if they sent me to college because the moment I have a man in my life that can support me..then I am supported. Not the primary supporter. And I can do all wife/ mother responsibilties and will no longer need to fiddle around with working/mommying/socializing/schooling/breathing.
My hearts passion is to run a household.
I would like to go to school only to get certified for a job that pays very well but requires nothing more. So I can do what I need simply and fast and get it done, and then go on to working to support my son and I until the day my life partner comes along.
But it isn't that simple.
The one person that agrees with me has no say in the matter..my best friends mother. Who will not be paying for college, raising me, raising my son, or giving me food and shelter until I move out.
I want to support my son and I but I'm having the worst (and stressful) time deciding what the best thing (for me and my son) is.
Every mom is different. Every single mom is different than a married mom. No one understands single mom's hearts or struggles...except some other single moms.
So how do you explain your heart...how do you decide what's right?
I want to pursue a Interpreting degree sometime in my life. However, right now I can't imagine doing it. I'm lazy to life and spontaneous and on the ball for all mommy activities/responsibilities. I do NOT have a heart for college. In fact, it sickens me thinking about going to college because I don't have a "career" mindset. I am not a career woman. I am a mom. Honestly, My parents would be wasting thier money if they sent me to college because the moment I have a man in my life that can support me..then I am supported. Not the primary supporter. And I can do all wife/ mother responsibilties and will no longer need to fiddle around with working/mommying/socializing/schooling/breathing.
My hearts passion is to run a household.
I would like to go to school only to get certified for a job that pays very well but requires nothing more. So I can do what I need simply and fast and get it done, and then go on to working to support my son and I until the day my life partner comes along.
But it isn't that simple.
The one person that agrees with me has no say in the matter..my best friends mother. Who will not be paying for college, raising me, raising my son, or giving me food and shelter until I move out.
I want to support my son and I but I'm having the worst (and stressful) time deciding what the best thing (for me and my son) is.
Every mom is different. Every single mom is different than a married mom. No one understands single mom's hearts or struggles...except some other single moms.
So how do you explain your heart...how do you decide what's right?
Friday, December 9, 2011
Memories we create
Things don't always seem to go as planned by any means. ESPECIALLY when your a mom. Now add "single" in front of that and suddenly "don't always" turns into Never. But you do what you can and you live in the moment. Nothing is too hard for you to handle. You have to remember this rule of thumb as a mommy to your little one(s)
The moments you create today are tomorrow's memories. What memories are you creating for your little one(s)?
People keep telling me that I can't cuddle with my baby to sleep, he should learn to cry it out. That I shouldn't be rocking him at bed time and I need a new routine or he won't sleep on his own. That he should move out of my room (which is impossible with me living with my parents anyway) or he will always be too attached to me.
Well I say Stop!
I'm the mom and maybe I don't want my son to have to have to cry that much or not be attached to me. As a single (and teen) mom I have to do what I can to get by emotionally, physically, financially, etc. And I want my son to be there at my side through it all! He is what reminds me every day that there is a reason to go on. That life isn't such a bad place. That God gave us this place to worship and be happy and glorify him. And THAT is why I have my son, God blessed me with him!
I want the memories that I create for my son to share with his family, and friends, when he is older is to be those of laughter, love, acceptance, guidance, playfulness, peace. I want him to look back on his past and smile! I want him to be able to take what I have shared with him and then send it all on, into a mission field of his own. He can be the shining light in the darkest room! And I fully believe that!
Our children have the power to be as much as we show them they can be. And then more! Mentors teach how to achieve as far as they have, parents however, teach children to achieve MORE than they have!
I am a parent. I am a memory maker.
I am a single mom.
The moments you create today are tomorrow's memories. What memories are you creating for your little one(s)?
People keep telling me that I can't cuddle with my baby to sleep, he should learn to cry it out. That I shouldn't be rocking him at bed time and I need a new routine or he won't sleep on his own. That he should move out of my room (which is impossible with me living with my parents anyway) or he will always be too attached to me.
Well I say Stop!
I'm the mom and maybe I don't want my son to have to have to cry that much or not be attached to me. As a single (and teen) mom I have to do what I can to get by emotionally, physically, financially, etc. And I want my son to be there at my side through it all! He is what reminds me every day that there is a reason to go on. That life isn't such a bad place. That God gave us this place to worship and be happy and glorify him. And THAT is why I have my son, God blessed me with him!
I want the memories that I create for my son to share with his family, and friends, when he is older is to be those of laughter, love, acceptance, guidance, playfulness, peace. I want him to look back on his past and smile! I want him to be able to take what I have shared with him and then send it all on, into a mission field of his own. He can be the shining light in the darkest room! And I fully believe that!
Our children have the power to be as much as we show them they can be. And then more! Mentors teach how to achieve as far as they have, parents however, teach children to achieve MORE than they have!
I am a parent. I am a memory maker.
I am a single mom.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
surviving the finances
I had to start filling out FAFSA for starting college this upcoming semester at 2 colleges for 2 different majors. Sign Language at one and Nursing at the other.I also have to get a job at the same time. When will I have time to be just me and my baby like I have right now? I LOVE right now. Stay at home mom.
It's really hard knowing that as a single mom...you don't have that option at all! I see all these new mothers quiting their jobs to be with their new baby's all day, and my green monster starts to come out. I can easily quiet it knowing I am doing the best I can do with providing for my son as a single mom and no husband to help and no daddy that is able to financially be there. I see why there is a partnership that needs to be here with a baby..its hard work!
I won't lie it is getting pretty darn stressful, but every time I look at my sons face and how peaceful he looks...I know I am being the best mommy I can possibly be! And that's all that matters right?
It's really hard knowing that as a single mom...you don't have that option at all! I see all these new mothers quiting their jobs to be with their new baby's all day, and my green monster starts to come out. I can easily quiet it knowing I am doing the best I can do with providing for my son as a single mom and no husband to help and no daddy that is able to financially be there. I see why there is a partnership that needs to be here with a baby..its hard work!
I won't lie it is getting pretty darn stressful, but every time I look at my sons face and how peaceful he looks...I know I am being the best mommy I can possibly be! And that's all that matters right?
Friday, October 21, 2011
Single Moms are powerful
Single Moms have it tough. We have to work hard, learn hard and fast, take care of our child and keep the balance of life going without the aid of a life partner. But although things can be extremely rough...we do it. Because we know what we have to do to take care of our child. And we love our child no matter what circumstances are thrown our way,
Our child becomes our world. They depend on us as much as we depend on them. We provide the food, shelter, water, clothing, and love that our child needs. And our child provides the love, and motivation that keeps us going with high spirits.
I recently have encountered a situation that caused me to rethink my whole perspective on being a single mom. Why does it have to be some rough and overbearing road? It is challenging. But it's a challenge that strong women take. And WE are strong women! you can either let your circumstances change you or you can let God change you through your circumstance. By becoming a single mom you have the ability to be the strongest you have ever been before! Rise up for your child and show him that Mommy is on a mission. A love mission to take care of him forever and your goal is to always be there for him and only provide the best. If you work the hardest you can and take care of and love on your child, God will do the rest. You must depend on him and I promise, his purpose for you will unfold.
Single moms are powerful. Remember that. Keep your head up, and let your heart sing to your child of the love it has for him!
Our child becomes our world. They depend on us as much as we depend on them. We provide the food, shelter, water, clothing, and love that our child needs. And our child provides the love, and motivation that keeps us going with high spirits.
I recently have encountered a situation that caused me to rethink my whole perspective on being a single mom. Why does it have to be some rough and overbearing road? It is challenging. But it's a challenge that strong women take. And WE are strong women! you can either let your circumstances change you or you can let God change you through your circumstance. By becoming a single mom you have the ability to be the strongest you have ever been before! Rise up for your child and show him that Mommy is on a mission. A love mission to take care of him forever and your goal is to always be there for him and only provide the best. If you work the hardest you can and take care of and love on your child, God will do the rest. You must depend on him and I promise, his purpose for you will unfold.
Single moms are powerful. Remember that. Keep your head up, and let your heart sing to your child of the love it has for him!
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